THE DREAM-CONSCIOUS STATE: A PERSONAL JOURNAL OF INNER EXPLORATION
Bruce G. MarcotJOURNALS -- PART TWO (1986-present)
Falling Asleep and Waking in the Lucid State
All phenomena are processes, connections, all is in flux, and at moments this flux is actually visible: one has only to open the mind in meditation or have the mind screens knocked awry by drugs or dreams to see that there is no real edge to anything, that in the endless interpenetration of the universe, a molecular flow, a cosmic energy shimmers in all stone and steel as well as flesh. [p. 23]
- Matthiessen, Peter. 1978. The snow leopard. Penguin Books, New York. 338 pp.
In one set of ongoing experiences, I have been able to remain conscious throughout the entire sequence and process of falling asleep or of waking up.In falling asleep, what first happens -- after a deepening and slowing of my respiration, and a long "slide" into a dark and imageless period -- is that I hear a great, rushing, white-noise sound in my ears that blocks out all external sounds. Then I feel my limbs becoming numb and paralyzed. Finally, I enter an utterly black void, and experience no bodily sensations including no hearing (the rushing sound too vanishes), and I usually quickly fall out of the conscious state into regular dreamless sleep.
At least once, during this sequence I also consciously recalled how I've been able to become aware of my physical body while asleep, and tried to maintain bodily sensation, but that was not possible.
I do wonder -- and pose this as a new lucid dream experiment -- if I can fall asleep but maintain consciousness AND full bodily sensation. If this occurs, would this be a new form of sleep? A new definition of sleep? A trance? Deep meditation? Hypnosis? Samadhi? It would be so very interesting to have a credible dream lab chart my EEG and bodily rhythms during these experiments; I would be most interested to see what type of mental and physiological patterns occur. Would the EEG data display conscious brain activity? If not, what kind of sleep or mental state would it suggest?
I know that many people experiencing this hypnogogic-sleep condition, as I believe it's called, with the more typical semi-consciousness and bodily paralysis, find it frightening. This is often the sleep period, to my understanding, that many report spirit contact or alien abduction experiences (more on this below). However, I feel neither fear or apprehension. In contrast, I always greatly enjoy the experience of being conscious during the twilight zone of falling asleep or waking up.
I remember, as a little boy in bed I would, night after night, try my hardest to be aware of that moment just when I fall asleep, but the next morning I was never able to remember when sleep came. Now I do. Maybe there are some sleep abilities that actually improve with age -- or at least with practice.
The conscious-wakening experience is equally remarkable. In fact, the longest and most controlled lucid dreams have sometimes (not always) come in the morning hours, at times after initially waking and then returning to sleep.
When waking up in the lucid state, I may or may not be emerging from a dream (so in this case, my coinage "dream-conscious state" is not exactly accurate). I then become aware of being conscious yet seeing only darkness (eyes closed), or if dreaming I refute the dream image and thereby induce only darkness. I might then be able to hear sounds, however, and consciously know what they are although I am still asleep. Next, I become aware of my body and limbs, and commonly may feel sleep paralysis (again, this is typically not alarming to me). I may will my arm to move.
Once, my arm just flopped over with little control and struck my face! The arm felt completely numb. I could cause it to move but couldn't feel it, so for a moment I didn't know literally what had hit me.
Finally, I emerge from the darkness and can open my eyes to light and the images of my room.
In several events now, I am able to will my eyes to open long before they are "ready." I experience first just darkness, even though I know my eyes are open (and the room is lit). Then, as in a few such instances, an image of the room (the dresser drawers) appeared, but in highly "pixelated" form, as if I was seeing a zoomed-in image on a computer screen. Quite remarkable. I even sat up, entirely conscious, but still at least partially asleep, aware that what I was seeing was hardly my normal vision. I continued to focus on the dresser and the pixels began to shrink in size, and the image slowly came into regular sharp detail, as I fully awoke. It would be very interesting discussing this observation with a eye physiologist; perhaps they would have a biophysical explanation for the "pixels."